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Sunday, March 7, 2010

(33) Eros (PG-13)

Eros: sexual love (Greek).
There are three kinds of love:
  1. Eros, a love that is based on what you are, what you are looking for, how things make you feel. It's where we get the term "erotic" from. It is a love based on conditions. Well, looks aren't everything.
  2. Philos, a love that says I love you for who you are, it's how we connect, a brotherly love. It's where we get therm Philadelphia-city of brotherly love. It is a loved based on relations.
  3. Agape, a love that is unconditional, I love you just because I do. Like a dog who is always happy when the owner comes.
Now if you base your love on eros, you will always be hurt because eros usually fades with time. If you base love on philos then it will never be complete. If you base it on agape then you will lose all aspects of physical pleasure. The person you should fall in love with is the one you have all three loves for. But is all kinds of love appropriate? What about eros when it comes to homosexual feelings? Here are the results from last months' poll: What is your view on homosexual activity?
  • 0% said it is worse than all other sexual sins.
  • 80% said it is wrong 100%.
  • 7% said God created love, so it's okay.
  • 7% said there is nothing wrong with it at all.
  • 3% said they have no idea.
  • 34% said there are other ways to look at it.
The correct answer is it is 100% wrong AND there is another way of looking at it. It is no worse than any other sexual sin. God created love, but He created it to be done in a certain way. There are acts of physical love you can do. No matter what science has said that they have proven about genes causing us to be homosexual or heterosexual, it still all comes down to your actions. You can choose to follow your thoughts and desires or not to. It is not like your body forces you into your life style. You choose to do one or the other. If you have thoughts to kill someone does that make it okay? If you have genes to be an alcoholic does that make it okay? Thoughts and genes do not give you the permission to be anything. So with that in mind let's define some things and look into it.
  1. Monogamous Heterosexuality-act of one man, one woman being in a relationship that only involves each other
  2. Polygamous Heterosexuality- act of one man, one woman but with multiple partners
  3. Acts of Homosexuality- act of same gender performing sexual acts with each other
  4. Bestiality- act of using animals as partners
  5. Self-gratification- act of performing sexual acts upon yourself
  6. Abstinence- act of not having any sexual relations or actions with anything or anyone
But only two of these are looked upon by God as acceptable and these are the first and last one mentioned. All but these two have consequences.  If only these two were done then there would be no problems in terms of physical relationships.  Keep in mind sexual activity also needs real love not just infatuation.  Look at some scripture to understand these things. Before you go on here are some small shortcuts: if it is mentioned in the Bible only once, it is still important, if it is only mentioned in the Old Testament, it is still important, if Jesus mentioned it, it is still important but may have stricter guidelines since humans can't follow directions.
Why can't all acts of eros be okay if God created the act? First Corinthians explains all of this even in more detail, chapter 6:
  • 12 "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.
  • 13 "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
  • 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.
  • 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
  • 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
  • 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
  • 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
  • 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
  • 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Monogamous relations are the basis of all relations. To be faithful to your partner is important about building trust, honor, respect and deeper feelings for a person. If this faithfulness is broken then so is the relationship and will be hard to rebuild it. Lives can be destroyed and never mended. Polygamous relations only lead to insecurities, guilt, pride and in the end loneliness. Because once you have put yourself out there for many partners then the act of eros becomes less valuable. Genesis 2:21-23 explains this.
  • 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
  • 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
  • 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man."
  • 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
For this reason a man will leave his mom and dad, or a woman will leave her mom and dad, and will be united together, hence the creation of marriage. Since the two were made for each other they shall spend time with each other. God did not make many women for Adam, nor did He make many men for Eve. He made one for each, and this is when the flesh becomes one. It also does not say that Adam was given a "playmate", "life-long" partners, or "civil unions". It says a man and a woman, only. The act of homosexuality is prohibited.
What about bestiality? First of all if you have to turn to animals for acts of this nature, you need help with your mentality, and apparently with your personality as well if humans can't talk to you enough to like you. But simply put two verses in the Bible say this is wrong; Exodus 22:19 and Leviticus 20:15.
  • Ex 22:19 "Anyone who has sex with an animal gets the death penalty.
  • Lev 20:15 "If a man has sex with an animal, he must be put to death and you must kill the animal.
What about self-gratification? If you are not hurting anyone else then why would it not be permissible? The verses of scripture in Corinthians as mentioned above helps explain that. But there is more to it. While Jesus was giving what we know today as the Sermon on the Mount he hit issues that deal with all lifestyles. And one in particular was lust. He starts out in this passage with adultery but he adds to the meaning. Matthew 5:27-30
  • 27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'
  • 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
  • 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
  • 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Most people think that this is talking about if you commit a wrongful action then cut off your hand so you won;t do it again. But what action is it talking about? Well if you put it into context then it is talking about self-gratification. You are looking at a woman lustfully in verse 29 and then your hand cause you to sin in verse 30.
What about abstinence? There is nothing wrong with this. But Paul says if you have fires burning within you then it is best to quench those fires, hence find someone to marry. God created sexual activity so if we find someone worth giving ourselves to then the act of marriage should happen, otherwise we need to abstain.
In summary all acts of sexuality are allowed by laws and nature but only two are allowed by laws of God. The rest, no matter what they are, is a sin.


No Doubt said...

G-d loves the homosexual the way he loves any other sinner.

He also calls them to repentence as he does any other sinner.

The homosexual says it's in the blood. They're right. However, the cure is also in the blood, the blood of Y'shua Ha Mashiach.


Bob West said...

I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I have yours. Very interesting.
I am now a follower.
God Bless, Bob

hawkssong68 said...

If you are honestly under the belief that homosexuals are only capable of "eros" love, then there is no room for debate. I do, however, wish to express my gratitude for your NOT bringing up Sodom and Gomorrah! Whew! It drives me crazy when people interpret that story as having anything to do with homosexuality! Or hospitality, on the flip side.

However, not being homosexual, you can't possibly make that judgment call. You've never walked in a pair of A. Testoni leather shoes or a nice pair of Birkenstocks. You're so un-gay, you probably had to google them! :)

THIS is being gay: I walk into a crowded restaurant. Every head, eventually, turns my way. Some look at me with curiosity. Some with confusion. Some whisper behind their hand. Some laugh. Some, look at me, with downright hatred and murder in their eyes.

I walk into a womens restroom. Some back into the sink. Some demand their young daughters to hurry up. Some stop and stare me right in the eye, questioning. Some check the sign on the way out! Some demand an answer as to why I'm there.

I visit my mother. She berates me about my hair. My clothes. Looks at me in the way that I know I've let her down. I'm not the daughter she ordered. And I live with that knowledge.

My father acts jealous when I don't need his help carrying something. And it's even worse when he has to ask for my help.

My son has on occasion, just refused to answer his friends question, "Is that your dad?"

I can never check the "married" box. I live in terror when I have to try on clothes at the department store. And I worry that, should I die, someone from my "family" will come in and take whatever they want from my partner. And I worry that she won't be allowed to visit me in the hospital if I can't speak for myself. And who will make those decisions?

Churches don't want me, unless I change. No "Just As I Am" for me. The Army says I wasn't a good soldier because I was gay. An embarrassment.

Yet. I live. And I love. Completely. Forgivingly. I love with my entire self. I give of my life whatever is asked. And I love.

And when it gets too tough out there, when I just can't take one more murderous look from a stranger, I go to my partner and she's there. And she proudly (!) walks hand in hand with me, taking their stares with me, stride for stride.

Which love is that?

hawkssong68 said...

One other little "snippet".

Dad and I argued about my being gay once. He threw out, "How do you know that God didn't make you gay to teach you a lesson?" I shot back, "How do you know the lesson wasn't for you?"

Oh, and...


Gozreht said...

Part 1
No no. Everyone is capable of everything. Love is for everyone. But sometimes love can be misconstrued. I can try and explain my ideas here but you have to be open and understand the most important part, no one is different than anyone else in the eyes of God.

As the original post says, we all have choices. No matter if we are born that way or not. The action of having sexual relations is a choice. I laid out five of them.

Back to my point. Love in its perfect way comes in three parts. Philos, Eros, and Agape. Only one of these can never be perverted (as in changed). The other two we choose to do or not. We pick those whom we do these to or for. God wanted man(kind)to choose for himself by giving us free will. But He had to lay out other ways for us to choose and not force His ways on us. That you may or may not disagree with but I have to start there. It's my foundation. Without it the best I can be is a leaning tower of Pisa. Sure I can stand but not perfectly.

God laid out only two ways that were the choice he wanted. Singles should remain abstinent and those who CHOSE marriage then should keep eros in the marriage.

A main point here that many always forget about because we all get so wrapped up in homosexual vs heterosexual (which I hope I do not, I only have two postings on the topic on three blogs) is that sex was made for commitment purposes as well not just fun. Promiscuity at any cause in any way is wrong. But some see this as "love" when its only lust. Lust is a perverted love. It masks itself as a good desire. If one can not see what lust is doing then it opens the way up for other forms of love.

The human race's problem is we desire love. Hold on though. We desire it because the human race doesn't know how to show it. So we go looking for it any way we can. And when we get some kind of love we hold on to it. This is why many women who are abused hold to their man who is doing the abusing. They think that is the way love is. And it’s not.

This posting isn’t only about homosexuality. It is about the physical act of love by anyone. I hope that message gets through. The original purpose for sexual act is for those who are compatible can express their philos and agape for one special person their whole life through. God created the compatibility and man has changed it or added to it to fit his needs based on his own desires. We may disagree on that.

Gozreht said...

Part 2

I have not walked in your shoes. I chose and choose not to. I don’t have those desires. I never have no matter what people try and say that we all have those thoughts in our life time.

But you should not have to go through these things. I know there have been painful moments. I can’t comment on what you have posted because it is too personal and I won’t do that to anyone. Acceptance takes a long time. But “acceptance” does not equate to “liking it”. And so people are going to react that way. But then “not liking” something does not equate to “hating it” either, especially the person. The idea of Philos is wasted on mankind. Thomas Hobbes said man is full of conflict, selfish, and will one day destroy himself. I used to think he was an idiot. I think I was wrong.

Your partner has shown you Philos.

I know God has Agape for you, so does your brother.

That will be my last comment. You can have the last word.

hawkssong68 said...

What's this deal with the last word any way? LOL! Have you been accused of wanting it so desperately in the past that you feel you must declare someone else can have it? :P

So much gets lost in written word. I hope I don't come across as condescending or rude. I try to add :P :) :D as much as necessary. Obviously, THAT is what I've been accused of in the past! LOL! <--See?

I tried to put a link on my blog (still not familiar with its ins and outs) which gets my point across a little better. It kind of links the two posts together. The hatred, (don't kid yourself--it's out there) which starts at the top and slippery slopes it way into classrooms as gay bullying, has suddenly caught the interest of society. Something that has gone on as long as there have been lockers to stuff people in has finally gone national! Of course kids think it's okay to hate and discriminate. We have legislation and leaders that say it's perfectly okay.

Are you at least having fun? What an odd way of getting to know each other....then again, we've both been accused of that! LOL! <--Again


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